Ludwina's Blog: Day Two - For what purpose?

It was only 18 days ago when I was diagnosed. Not a long time has past but a lot has occured in that time. I just realised that exactly two weeks ago Harry and I were in our lawyers office updating our wills and sorting out our power of attorney for medical and financials in the event that I didn't survive the operation. I recall that day so vividly. We were driving on our way to the hospital to have my pre op day and realised it had been some years since we wrote our wills. Only a few days before that I wasn't sure if the cancer was incurable or not. A few days before that I was completely healthy and had no idea that this creature was growing within my body. How fast things can change. One minute your life is great and in a heartbeat it can all change.

But throughout this time I have not once asked myself 'why me?'. I think it's a stupid question that can only give me a stupid answer. I have learned in my life that the quality of the questions you ask yourself will always determine the quality of the answer you get. So, the question I have been asking myself is, 'for what purpose am I experiencing this right now?'.

It is often said that things happen in life for a reason. I don't know if I believe that necessarily but I do believe that we can make these circumstances mean whatever we want them to mean. I guess that also means that we have the power to choose how we will either respond or react to it.

I haven't answered that question as yet. The time off from my everyday life, business and activities is a nice time away from the norm and I know the answer will come to me. I am certain however, that whatever meaning I give it will be of great value for me and my family.

So, think about the times when life threw you a curve ball; an unexpected challenge, a life threatening illness, the loss of a loved one or a job. What meaning did you give it? Were you able to see it as a gift or did you ask yourself 'why me?'. If you had asked yourself a better question, might you have had a better experience of it or a different outcome? Let me know what you think.

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healing energy..

Dear Ludwina
I came via your site today, on recommendation by Shushann Movsessian in Sydney.
Have just read your blog. I hope you're doing well. I can only imagine how surreal this journey/experience has been for you. Although we don't know eachother, am sending a giant dollop of healing energy and blessings your way right now. I look forward to reading further posts about your recovery. Martina/x

Worsed Year of My life best year of my life

Hey Ludwina, you know i always drop by from time to time because i just LOVE you! Im sorry to hear about the cancer and am sending so much positive healing energy your way!

In the last 12 months I have had my first child, lost my partner of 12 years- he left when she was 3 months due to illness, bounced between family homes with my new baby without a base, just hit financial rock bottom and had to sell my car, my dad died and the list goes on......daily i thanks god for my and jessees health....

the last year has positively sucked and in the midst of the worsed times i didn't know how i was going to pull through to be sane - but at the end of it - you know i don't regret a thing -- things have had to get this bad to make me believe in myself and pull all stops to move forward; i have become a stronger, independent and smarter woman for it -

"im not looking backwards because im not going that way" :p

thinking of you always
Kat

Ludwina's Blog

Day Two - For what purpose?

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healing energy..

Worsed Year of My life best year of my life

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