Ludwina's Blog: Day One - The Second Stage of my Journey to Wellness...

I have just arrived home after having my left kidney removed 5 days ago. I can't believe the journey I have been on just in the past two weeks. It feels quite surreel. In fact, apart from the pain I am feeling it feels like it has happend to someone else. I don't thing the notion that I have only one kidney has sunk in yet.

I feel very grateful for all the messages on facebook, the cards and emails I have received. I believed it was in my best interest to share what I was going through as it would make updating people easier. What I didn't realise was how much of a source of inspiration my journey would become for many of you. I am going to continue to journal about it here and share my insights and personal growth through this. It gives me a sense of purpose and meaning to what I am experiencing.

I have had a really strong mental attitude about it all. I recall the time leading up to the operation was a time that I decided to be strong mentally. I also decided that I would give myself permission to feel what I needed to feel the day I went in and my stay in hospital. I don't believe we can always be one thing. I think we need to experience life through joy and pain as they are all emotions for us to experience.

So, as I lay there sobbing on the trolley about to get put under, I recalled what my friend Linda told me. She said 'repeat over and over that my body is strong and it will heal itself'. That I did. The doctors thought I was nuts, but here I am five days later at home. Thanks Linda.

My next challenge is to allow myself to rest. I can be an overachiever at times. I like to be active, think productively and contribute to the world. But I guess this is my time to receive. I know that givers often don't take time to have their own cup filled, so bring on friends. You can over fill my cup however you like.

Incase you're wondering what that could be I am going to give you a wish list. I love receiving cards with well thought words of encouragement and inspiration. I like plants as they stay alive and can remind me of where I have been. You can come over and cook us a meal and eat it with my family and me. A massage, a facial or a DVD. Just don't forget me now I'm out of the woods and at home. I think this is a time I may need you all the most.

When I talked with my surgical team this morning I thanked them for their persistance. You see, they could have given up at around the four hour mark and said it was just too hard to get it all via keyhole surgery and do the major cut going from my middle front to the middle of my back under my rib cage; but they didn't. My surgeon, Dr Raymond Tong, said the best thing for me was to persist and continue with the keyhole as it would make my recovery faster. His persistance and 7 hours later meant I am sitting at home five days after surgery. His persistance meant that I could be brought back to my family sooner. It meant that I can contribute to the world again sooner (not now but sooner!) and I will get stronger faster. So I am left with a thought. How can I be more persistant? When at times have I given up thinking that it was all just too hard? What difference would it have made in someone elses life if I just hung in there a little longer? Hmm...

Talk to you again later xxx

Ciao,
Ludwina xxx

PS - Please reply. It helps me to stay connected:)

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Ludwina's Blog

Day One - The Second Stage of my Journey to Wellness...

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